She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
