If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
