I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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