My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
