Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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