she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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