hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
this will be a night to untag.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
