He kissed a someone with a penis
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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