So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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