I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
