I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
