im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
