Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize