I just threw up on my dentist
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
