If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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