I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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