**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
