Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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