I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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