Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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