I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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