I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize