So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
