Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
