The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
