is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
