...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
