drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Panties = found
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
