who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
