Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
