I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
