it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
