Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
