My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
