I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
