i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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