So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
