i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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