nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
