Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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