We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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