I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
