Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
