So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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