how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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