Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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