i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
