You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
