So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Four minutes until I can fart!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize