Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
