remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
