Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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