Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
