I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
