Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
