Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You're earring is so big in my mouth
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
