I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
