a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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