there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
