Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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