Christians are straight up FREAKS
i need an iv and a liver transplant
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
