Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize