it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
