We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
sex in a hospital.. check
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
