corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You left your underwear on the fireplace
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
