hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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