I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
