Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
