There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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