in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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